Have Your Been Victimized By Defamation, Libel Or Slander

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
-- John Wooden
Basketball Hall of Fame Member as Player and Coach

When disputes reach a certain level, it gets into social aspects as well. Neighbors are not stupid, they can see problems even if nobody talks about it. However, you can bet the bank that both sides will be talking about it. More often than not, socially, the person that is in the wrong will be talking the loudest and most often. Prepare for it and don't let it get to you.

The position we really try to keep, and it is hard sometimes, is that your true friends, and reasonable people in general, don't jump to radical conclusions. Don't participate in the bash-fest any more than to set people straight if you are confronted by somebody that heard something. Say your piece and leave it at that. If you stoop to their level it can be more damaging for you than beneficial.

Where it gets hard is when kids get involved. No matter what the case, at all costs, leave children out of it, even if the harasser is a child, deal with their parents and let the law deal with a child if necessary, pulling children into it, or giving to much information to your children, isn't good. We have bent over backwards to not tell too much to our kids and worry them, or to pass any blame, ill feelings or fear to the harassers kids, because quite simply, that's lame. However, you can't expect the other party will do the same.

As one officer told us, it's a long battle sometimes, but at the end, good usually triumphs over evil.

The single most difficult thing to accept in such a situation is that no matter how insane the real story is, when it comes to social warfare, even a completely insane person will have a couple people that believe their story and will end up thinking you are at fault, so be prepared for it, it will happen, sadly. In the long run, those people likely don't really matter.

What Is Defamation And Libel

Defamation is, by definition, hurting someone's reputation by spreading rumor and lies about them. One of the bigger aspects of defamation and libel (libel being defamation in print or on the internet) is that the stuff being said must, in large part, be false. That said, there are cases where spreading true, though damaging, stories can be successfully prosecuted as well, but it's not the norm in a typical neighborhood dispute.

Even opinion is subject to debate of whether it can be defamatory. While you are perfectly entitled to express your opinion, you are perfectly entitled to be held accountable for it as well. In the end it would be up to a judge or jury to make the decision on whether or not you are stating opinion in a way that is protected as free speech and is easily distinguishable as opinion, or if it could easily be taken as a statement of fact by somebody.

You do have every right to talk about your experiences. This web site is not about the woman that is harassing us, it is about my families experiences with her, I have not, nor will I ever, name myself, her or her family, however, I could post public records of her criminal charges from assaulting my wife, school letters stating she was kicked off ground for inappropriately disciplining my child, the two documents of events submitted by both families to the court and let you be the judge of which is more plausible, but, have chosen not to as that would be, well, lame. The fact anyone would actually know who I am or who she is would not help the goal of this site, and, I could be held more accountable for defamation in doing so.

As far as identifying people, standard practice dictates that "the average person" must be able to identify them by what is available for reading. So, even without using exact names, you could be held accountable, mostly in the cases of higher profile people...for average joe citizen, someone would have to be pretty self-confident, self-important or arrogant (read "Narcissistic") to think the average person could deduce something nebulous so it could be easily seen as talking about them.

Though I can't say for sure, as I don't have any proof, I am laying pretty good odds the vast majority of defamation cases have pretty good amounts of smack talkin' going both directions, so it's not likely a course worth pursuing unless you have money burning a hole in your pocket. As Will Smith once said as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air; "Dudes in glass cribs shouldn't be throwin no hard stuff."

The way I see it, don't bother with suing for this unless you have provable, tangible evidence it has cost you jobs, money or the like.