Domestic Violence and Abuse

I am personally not an expert in this field, but have known more than one person that has dealt with it. It's a touchy subject, but at the end of the day, if you have a spouse or partner that is abusing you, your HAVE to get out of that situation.

People that abuse their partners have mental illness issues. It's quite likely, depending on the seriousness of the abuse, as well as the seriousness of other issues such as alcohol and drug abuse, that you could suffer great harm and the hands of this person.

If you currently live with this person, step number one is to get out, and take any dependents with you. Get out NOW. Going to the home of a friend or family member may not be the best solution, as it could bring trouble to them. There are many places in most areas for people in crisis to go. If you are the victim of physical domestic violence you need to get a lawyer. You do, however, also obviously have the option to press charges against the abuser which also brings with it a free attorney in the form of a county/state prosecutor that will be prosecuting the case.

By pressing charges you take the case from a civil level to a criminal level which can make the abuser that much more angry as there could be fines, incarceration and other consequences associated with it beyond any no contact, restraining or protection order. That said, by pressing charges you get some free representation, as domestic violence lawyers typically do not come cheaply...no lawyers ever do.

The charges and possible punishments associated with domestic violence varies from state to state and varies depending on the actual violence that occurred. You are best served keeping records of such thing, obtaining any medical records from doctor visits that may have been a result of any of the violence, and be prepared to use it against your abuser.

Domestic violence cases will get very, very ugly. The abuser, in an effort to justify their actions will almost always try to paint you as abusive, chemically dependent, a whore or otherwise "deserving" of the abuse you received. The best course of action is typically not to let yourself get upset or rattled by these comments. Lawyers and judges hear this stuff every single day and really take everything with a grain of salt unless there is evidence proving such accusations.

If you decide to proceed civilly, and are going to hire a domestic abuse lawyer, make sure to get a specialist. There are many out there specializing in this area, as, sadly, it's not uncommon. Many times these same attorneys will specialized in child abuse and protection as well, which, if there are also children involved, can be of great help.