Mediation and Mediated Agreements for Resolving Neighborhood Disputes

In the case of neighborhood disputes and/or harassment, some judges lean toward trying to come to a resolution through intervention or mediation. It saves court time for what is often silly neighborhood disputes that should not be settled in court if somebody can simply keep the conversation on topic and productive, which is exactly what a mediator is for.

If a judge does request this, it is likely in your best interest to try, in case the problem persists and you wind up back in front of the judge at least it is on record you have tried. Even if you have tried mediation at other levels of the dispute, you want the judge to see you as a reasonable, understanding person. We had been through mediation with local law enforcement and school officials ourselves, and it had done no good at all, and in some ways, made it worse, but, when the judge asks you just say "yes, your honor" and do it.

Mediation does result in a legally binding court order, however due to the fact they are not the norm, many people, even police officers, will often look at it and say something like "is this enforceable?". So it is advisable to make sure the agreement contains very specific items of agreement, consequences for breaking the agreement, and who is authorized (or required) to enforce the agreement (and how), a judges signature and a copy is filed at the local courthouse.

Understanding Mediators and Mediation

Mediators are not necessarily true officers of the court. Sometimes they are simply respected experts in the fields of intervention and negotiation with no official legal expertise. Not that it really matters, as if they have been doing it a long time they are likely quite knowledgeable just by exposure, and are usually quite gifted at reading people.

Not being an officer of the court, they are also more able to call it like it is, and not have to ride that politically correct fence. That said, they rarely will, to any direct degree, call one party out over another as that is a sure way to halt negotiations on the spot. For that reason it may appear they are treating the harasser with kid gloves, though it's typically just to keep them talking and participating, as soon as one party starts feeling attacked or cornered, especially if they have any sort of a personality disorder, the negotiations start to break down.

Be aware a good mediator is a skilled negotiator. They are watching your verbal and non-verbal communications. They are likely very good at picking up on people's character by what you say, how you say it, how you are sitting, the demeanor you are behaving with and much more.

The best thing you can do is stay calm, speak the truth and don't let your adversary get you worked up. A good mediator will often know who is being honest and who isn't, be yourself and let him do his job.

Reaching an Agreement

When writing a final agreement, be very careful to specify locations and people very accurately and leave no room for misinterpretation. Any ambiguity will be exploited when arguing over a violation of the agreement. Specify people and places, and, as we learned specify consequences of violation and who has the authority to enforce the agreement. Since mediation agreements are unusual in normal law enforcement, some authorities will be unsure of how to enforce it or if they have the legal right to. Spell this out in your agreement. The key to a successful mediation is making sure everything is plain, understanble to both parties, agreed upon and has consequences clearly, and empowers those that enforce those consequences clearly spelled out.

Our Opinion

Sometimes, even with the best efforts of the court, mediator and one party, it simply won't work. If you are dealing with somebody like we have, I would like to suggest not wasting your time, however, you also run the risk of looking poorly to the judge, if it is requested by the judge, it may be necessary to at least try. Just don't expect a lot from it unless you both actually want it resolved.

If one party thrives on the drama, are "professional victims", or are completely incapable of admitting any wrongdoing or accepting responsiblity for any of their actions, it won't work. Both parties need to want it resolved.